There is no simple answer to the question of Divorce lawyers Guildford, when is the right time to divorce. It is a highly sensitive and individual situation with many factors to take into consideration and not a decision to be entered into lightly or underprepared for.
There are often several dilemmas people will often face when thinking about the possibility of a divorce. One is that you feel you want a divorce, but you are not sure if it is the right decision at this time and you may still have feelings for the other person. Some people are worried about the impact on their lifestyle, or on their children and wider family. For most people future finances will be a worry too. It may not be your decision to end the marriage, it may be your partner who has suggested this and you are left feeling out of control in a situation that you may not have seen coming. You may start to see your life changing and feel like you have no say in the situation and be feeling overwhelmed with everything. Another dilemma may be that you don't see your marriage going anywhere and that it isn't working. You may blame the other partner for this and feel anger that you can see no other way out. All of these things have a common denominator as 'fear' – i.e. fear of making a wrong decision, or fear of the unknown.
To be able to successfully divorce you both need to accept that your lives will no longer run parallel, they will be totally separate in every way – practically, legally and emotionally.
There are a few things you can ask yourself before making a final decision to divorce:
Do you still have feelings towards your partner? Many people who think they wish to divorce will still have strong feelings towards their partner. Sometimes these issues can be resolved if both parties are willing to go to counselling to discuss them. Often partner A will have no idea how partner B feels, and vice versa. But by simply sitting in a room, in a non combative environment and being able to speak to each other about things can really help. There would be a trained counsellor with you to help lead the session and guide you through, so one person doesn't do all the speaking or the conversations to get out of hand. Obviously not all parties always agree to counselling and even those that do attend may still see divorce as the only answer at the end.
Do you actually want to divorce or are you just threatening for a response? Divorce can often be mentioned during a heated argument. This can be done out of anger or frustration that you aren't being taken seriously, or to let your partner know that you are serious about wanting change and that the marriage has hit a bump. If you consistently mention divorce during a row then your partner will not take you seriously. If you are ready for a divorce and not just using the threat as a weapon to exact a response from your partner, then you will have accepted that this chapter of your life has ended and there is nothing more you can put into this relationship and nothing more that you can do to change the situation. Divorce is final, so you need to be very certain before commencing potentially costly proceedings.
What do you hope to achieve in wanting a divorce? If you have any answer, other than ending your marriage, then that is an indication that you may not be ready to divorce. Divorce, or the threat of, will not change anyone's heart or mind. If you are thinking that by starting a divorce it will make a perceived aggressor treat you any better, or realise what they are potentially losing, then you are looking for a divorce for the wrong reasons. Divorce will have only one outcome – to end a marriage and thus allow each person to form new relationships with new people and lead new, totally separate lives.
Are you ready for the unpleasant consequences of divorce? You will benefit from a good support network at this time, i.e. family and friends who will be there for you both emotionally and practically when you need them. You will, at times, experience feelings of hurt, anger, failure, disappointment and loneliness. If you can accept this beforehand and have people in place to help you through it, then the process will go smoother for you. You will have to deal with other peoples emotions too, ones that you may not be ready to deal with or acknowledge. Things like your children's pain at their parents divorce, your parents, whose generation did not 'do' divorce. This will affect more than just the two of you, so be prepared.
As Divorce lawyers Guildford, we are experts in dealing with your individual situation and are able to give you the best possible advice for your circumstances.
If you cannot accept the changes to your finances or your lifestyle...
If you cannot accept your children will be upset, angry and may 'play you up' …
If you cannot let go of your spouse, emotionally or mentally …
And if you cannot accept that at times you will feel insecure and afraid of the unknown...
Then you are NOT ready for a divorce.
As Divorce lawyers Guildford, we are experts in dealing with your individual situation and are able to give you the best possible advice for your circumstances. We have a wealth of experience in this area and will help you throughout the process. We will always treat you as an individual and give you the very best advice we possibly can.
Contact our Divorce Solicitors Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London
Based in Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London, we can help you. If you have a family dispute that needs resolving we are here to help and look forward to your call.
Please call us on 01483 826 470