01483 826 470

 

Blog

Picture of a lawyer
6 minutes reading time (1157 words)

Trying to avoid a troublesome divorce experience

Divorce solicitors Guildford and trying to avoid a troublesome divorce experience.

When considering a divorce lawyers in Guildford it is essential to find someone who can offer you outstanding, professional and easy to understand legal advice.  Here at Gregorian Emerson Family Law Solicitors, we use our own unique legal and psychological approach, combined with in depth analysis to fully understand your dispute and deliver tailored advice pertaining to your individual case.

Currently in the UK we are experiencing a downturn in the number of marriages ending in divorce.  The current statistics puts this number at around 42%.  This could be attributed to a number of reasons, but the main one is that couples are simply getting married later in life than ever before and that many of these couples will have already been co-habiting with each other for many years, prior to actually committing to marriage.  If one of you feels the marriage is no longer working for you then you should first try to speak about any particular isues with your partner, however if these conversations do not improve the situation then legal advice should be sought earlier rather than later to help. 

Have you prepared yourself for the unpleasant consequences of divorce?

It is vital that you surround yourself with good friends and family as you traverse through a divorce.  There really is no substitute for a good support network of people who will be there to comfort and guide you, both emotionally and also practically, when needed the most.  You should be prepared that, at times, you will experience extremes of emotions - everything from anger, hurt, betrayal, loneliness, failure and disappointment - this is totally normal and if you are prepared for this and have good friends and family to help you through this, then it will help the process be smoother for you.  You may need to rant at someone, discuss your options, or just have a good cry, so make sure you have someone trustworthy that you can rely on to help you at this time.  One area you may not have thought about is how you will deal with other peoples emotions - people like your children as they see you both going through this, or your parents/grandparents who may not approve of your decision.  Divorce affects more than just the two of you - so be prepared.

Many people who are post-divorce, will tell you that the emotional side of dealing with things is far worse than dealing with the legal side.  You will experience emotions you never knew you were capable of, and feelings towards your soon to be ex that can come as quite a shock!  It can be an extremely challenging time for both of you and you should be prepared that it can bring out the worst in you.  Some people will find themselves acting extremely maliciously, petty or spitefully towards an ex-partner, especially where children are concerned.  However we use our unique legal and psychological approach to encourage you to be as non combative and amicable as possible to facilitate workable future relations - this is particularly important where there are children involved as it enables you to engage in ongoing conversations without the need for hostilities. 

For many people the divorce process is a highly stressful time . Choosing to end your marriage to someone you were once in love with does not happen overnight and learning to settle into new and separate existences can cause one, or both of you, added stress.   You may find your mental and/or physical wellbeing is affected and that you find coping with it all difficult.  Some of the main causes for stress during the divorce will be:

Sorting out the financial aspects.
Worrying about how the children are coping.
Hostility towards each other and/or combative behaviour.
Working out new childcare arrangements that work for everyone.
Losing friendships as people 'take sides' and finding yourself alone.
Having to make new friendships.
Trying to maintain a healthy, workable relationship with your ex-partners family. (If you had a good one before)
Learning to do things your ex-partner used to do, i.e. paying bills etc.
Not allowing the children to play you off against each other.

It is important to remember that going through a divorce will bring feelings of loss, no matter how acrimonious things may have become between you.  It can be difficult to come to terms with the relationship ending, especially if you were not the instigating the divorce - and you may not have seen it coming.  Even if you were the one to call time on the relationship you will still be emotionally linked to your ex-partner and may feel like you have lost a piece of yourself through the divorce.  As experienced divorce solicitors in Guildford we are on hand and here to help you with any queries or questions you may have as you go through the divorce process.  We will always be honest with you and ensure you are aware of all options open to you.

You may also find yourself avoiding situations where you may bump into your ex-partner, or isolating yourself for fear of friends taking sides and leaving you feeling abandoned.  These are perfectly normal reactions to encounter, but will both add to your feelings of loneliness if not dealt with. 

As experienced divorce solicitors in Guildford, we recognise that there will be numerous emotional highs and lows throughout the divorce process.  However, once the divorce is settled it is important to try to maintain a respectful relationship between both of you, as if you remain conflicted and hostile there is the potential for any confrontation to impact on your children and potentially your extended family too. 

Your new post-divorce relationship with your ex-partner will take some getting used to and will take a natural course over time.  It is stressful for all involved and you should ensure that you are taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally and do not be afraid to ask for help if it all gets too much.  Don't take it as a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign you are recognising a situation and are taking steps to deal with it. 

As Divorce solicitors Guildford, we are experts in dealing with your individual situation and are able to give you the best possible advice for your circumstances.  We have a wealth of experience in this area and will help you throughout the process.  We will always treat you as an individual and give you the very best advice we possibly can.

Contact our Divorce Solicitors Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London

Based in Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London, we can help you. If you have a family dispute that needs resolving we are here to help and look forward to your call.

Please call us today on 01483 826 470 and let us help you improve your situation.

Helping your children through your divorce
Spousal maintenance

Contact us


Please let us know your name.

Please let us know your email address.

Please enter a valid telephone number

Please select one option.

Please select one option.

Please let us know your occupation.

Please let us know your message.

Call now to arrange a consultation01483 826 470